Whitewash

 

I have a few words to say in honor of the George W. Bush Lie/Bury opening.

Cognitive dissonance: Saying that Clinton is at fault for 9/11 by not stopping the clear threat of al Qaeda. Then saying Bush is not at fault for 9/11 because it was unknown that al Qaeda was a threat until after the attacks.

To sum up:

First, Clinton is at fault because it was known.

Then, Bush is not at fault because it wasn’t known.

This is what happens when you don’t give a flying monkey-nut about facts. You also don’t care that you don’t make any sense and sound like an assburger with extra shitpickles.

Let's make something very fucking clear to every delusional right-wing nut-job history re-imagining white-washer claiming there were no domestic attacks under Bush, that he made us safe from 9/11 (which you blame on Clinton) all the way to Obama's Boston conspiracy (one of a multitude of fucking moronic conspiracies): The largest terrorist attack EVER perpetrated on American soil happened under George W. Bush after he personally ignored dozens upon dozens of agency reports over a period of 8 months informing him of an imminent threat from al Qaeda. He received one such report titled, “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” on August 6, 2001, while clearing brush at the ranch on one of his 1,020 days of vacation - more than any other President - a fucking third (32%) of his time in office. Aside from those 2,996 victims on September 11, 2001, Bush is also responsible for over 4,500 more American deaths and approximately 100,000 more native civilians in wars he intentionally lied us into. Not to mention the 59 other people in the 12 fucking embassy attacks during his tenure – of which Republicans at the time said there was 'no reason to investigate.' No, Republicans only demand investigations into how Obama is somehow responsible for terrorist attacks. Not to mention the anthrax terrorist attacks during Bush. Plus the 16 murders during the DC Sniper attacks during Bush. But sure, there were no domestic terror attacks under Bush. Aside from the most horrific one in U.S. history. He kept us safe. Snug. Bug. Rug.

If you whitewash it.

We are keeping a death score, right? And an embassy attack score?

Good day.

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And yeah, I meant “Whitewash” as a double entendre.

In addition to Republicans covering up the history of Bush's numerous war crimes, I meant Whitewash in such a way as to point out their rampant racism. No matter what the black President does, or what happens during his tenure, it’s evil. Even if it is the same exact goddamn thing done during every other white President’s tenure. Even if Obama implements a wholly Republican bill, they suddenly call it something like 'socialism' or other moronic, knee-jerk reaction scare-words. Then say Obama doesn’t understand America. Because he’s, you know, a Kenyan Muslim “other.” This has been the most do-nothing government in the history of the United States. Because they hate the black guy. For being black. It's not about his policies, they're quite often Republican policies. They even block their own bills. This is way beyond partisanship. It's blatant racism. Cunts.

I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on that right away.

400% increase in threats against Obama's life? 43,830 death threats in his first four years? The most threatened President in U.S. history? 755% increase in hate/anti-government groups since Obama became President? Must just be because he’s a Democrat. Nothing to do with race. Nothing at all. Move along. Nothing to see here.

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Yup. It's the media. Not you.

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Patton Oswalt's Star Wars Filibuster - Parks and Recreation