Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Rick Perry Chronicles

I don’t know if I have a special place in my bowels for Texas’ Republican Governor, Rick Perry or not. I seem to hate him quite a bit, though. I think it’s because he is a master of hypocrisy and lies. And as you should know by now, hypocrisy and lies really, really fucking piss me off.

Also, he seems to be stupid.

He’s a lying, hypocritical idiot. The Republican trifecta of qualifications to run for office.

Oop. I forgot “Super Christian.” Would that make it a quadfecta?

Here is a list of random statements I’ve made about Perry and the subsequent comments.

Before compiling this list, I honestly hadn’t realized how many times I made comments about this knob.

I will most likely write more about him, so this list is certain to be premature, but if I don’t post it now… when?

The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty – and all the shady characters in between.


August 15, 2011

The Brain Frees
Hey, if Rick Perry becomes President, is he going to suggest that the U.S. could secede from the North American Continental Plate? If so, will it be before or after Jesus fixes the economy?

The economy will be fixed by going to the stadium and praying, heathen!

[That comment is a reference to this event.]

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August 19, 2011

The Brain Frees
The dumbest fucking thing I've heard all week:

"How old do I think the Earth is? You know what, I don't have any idea. I know it's pretty old. It goes back a long, long ways. I'm not sure anybody actually knows completely and absolutely how long the Earth is. Here, your mom was asking about evolution, and you know, it's a theory that's out there, and it's got some gaps in it. In Texas, we teach both creationism and evolution in our public schools — because I figure you're smart enough to figure out which one is right." - TX Gov. Rick Perry (R) to a boy while stumping in New Hampshire 8/18/11

It's also got the added bonus of the lie about them teaching creationism in TX schools. They don't.

Watch the video...

I've heard Rick Perry described as George Bush on steroids. Seems about right.

Perry scares me about as much as Bachmann.

If this guy becomes our next president, we might as well pack up our shit and move to Afghanistan.

I've lived in TX for 8 years, so I have had the lovely opportunity to enjoy his politics for all of these years. I can say with confidence that I am not a fan.

Shirley, so the jobs that he is supposedly creating are all smoke and mirrors from the GOP? My aunt lives there in TX and loves it, says lots of good things, but she doesn't think liberal by any means.

The Brain Frees
Alan, your aunt is not lying to you. She just straight up believes the right wing bullshit FOX tells her. I was following your discussion the other day. She kept saying that FOX represents both sides of the story and "liberal news media" doesn't. Because she's brainwashed completely by what FOX tells her. And she blindly repeats it. Despite her claims of watching all news and forming her own opinions, because she obviously does not. She loves GWB for pity's sake! Every time something is presented that goes against what FOX tells her, it's "liberal extremism" to her (as it is with most right-wingers). If that isn't delusional partisanship, nothing is.

I know this is a liberal elite socialist communist Marxist website, but facts are facts...

I live in the gooey caramel center of TX, so I can't really comment on the rest of the state, but I do not agree with Perry on anything. I think he is an anti-woman, bible thumping, coyote shooter.

Yeah I get a kick out of FOX news, especially Glenn Beck. I remember him writing on his little chalk board, something about Obama following the exact footsteps as Hitler, and America, we need to stop this! Just a bit extreme I say. lol

I recently watched a documentary (A "Frontline" episode called "death by fire" it's on Netflix, watch it.) about Perry possibly executing an innocent man. The facts were laid out very well. The thought of being innocent and laying on that gurney over there in the Huntsville death house just below the clock tower really scares the shit out of me!!!

I took a mythology class in college where they taught a whole bunch of cultures' and religions' stories and myths. I was shocked to find out how similar some of the Christian ones were to other ones that had come before it. Especially the Egyptians. Why don't they teach ALL creation stories as well as evolution?

Because if that were the case, I would have chosen Viking as the real one. Their stories were badass.

Ragnarok still remains one of the most violent things I have ever read... and I collected Punisher comics for a while...

[I also love Perry's notion that schools should teach different versions of a topic and the students should figure out on their own which one is correct. Stupid asshole.

Well class, Charlie Chaplin invented the phonograph. Or... Thomas A. Edison did. A phonograph was the first machine that could record and reproduce sound. Or... it was a graph that kept track of how many households contained a phone. Thomas Edison's middle name was Alvin. His parents chose it because they were big fans of the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie starring Jason Lee. Or... his middle name was Alva and has no real significance to its origin. Charlie Chaplin was America's first train conductor. Or... a British comedian. I'm teaching you both ways because I think you're smart enough to figure out which one is right.]

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August 22, 2011

The Brain Frees
Hey, if Rick Perry becomes President, who will he ask to receive stimulus money from while simultaneously deriding the stimulus program, claiming he created jobs all by himself that weren't almost all government jobs directly created by the stimulus?

He'll be too busy running around trying to shoot coyotes and trying to execute everyone in prison to think about it.

The Brain Frees
You mean execute innocent people after he's disbanded the team trying to find out if the evidence is true or not.

Palin for 2012!

[You may think Richard is kidding. He’s not. You’ll get to know him quite well in future blog entries.]

When Texas secedes I am moving there!!

Shirley, supposed innocent executed inmates. Apparently lots of controversy about this man?

Date of Execution:
February 17, 2004
Offender: Cameron Todd Willingham #999041
Last Statement: Yeah. The only statement I want to make is that I am an innocent man - convicted of a crime I did not commit. I have been persecuted for 12 years for something I did not do. From God's dust I came and to dust I will return - so the earth shall become my throne. I gotta go, road dog. I love you Gabby. [Remaining portion of statement omitted due to profanity.].

[I can imagine it had something to do with which of his own orifices the illustrious Rick Perry should stick his penis.]

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August 24, 2011

[I have a few running series’ on Facebook. One is “¡Vete a la Chingada, los Republicanos!” I’m not yet sure as how to incorporate them into this blog since new additions are constantly being added and I can only post one blog at a time. I could go back and update the blog entry, but the one or two people who already read it would miss the continuing additional entries. I’ll figure it out. Other series’ are “Useful Useless Fun Facts” and “Driving Tips And Insults.”]

The Brain Frees
¡Vete a la Chingada, los Republicanos! #20 in a series: Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) is a fucking piece of shit murderer.

In 1991, Todd Willingham's house burnt down, killing his three daughters. An alleged expert said it was arson and he was convicted of murder and put on death row.

As time passed, doubts mounted as to the certainty of the evidence of arson. It seemed as though the alleged expert used junk science.

Shortly before Willingham's execution, a leading arson expert filed a report with Perry's office saying it was not arson. Which would make Willingham innocent. A request was made for a reprieve of execution so further investigation could be conducted.

Perry said no.

Todd Willingham was executed on February 16, 2004.

Questions remained. Five years later, an investigator discredited the forensics used in the trial and determined conclusively that Willingham was innocent. He said "a finding of arson could not be sustained" and that "the fire marshal's key testimony at the trial was hardly consistently with the scientific mindset and is more characteristic of mystics or psychics."

Two days before that expert was supposed to testify before a commission looking into the case, Governor Perry fired three members of the commission and replaced them with his own appointees. They cancelled his meeting.

When accused of intentionally trying to change the outcome of the investigation, Perry denied the accusation.

When presented with new information, a leader should be able to make adjustments in his previous decisions. That is what makes a good leader. Presented with new information that may save an innocent man's life, a postponement to look into this new information is the very fucking LEAST a leader could do.

Republicans don't seem to have this capability to process new information. In fact, when presented with new or contrary information, they then demand the old, incorrect information is true. That is not good leadership quality.

If small-minded Rick Perry willfully murdered a potentially innocent man for some egotistical reason, then blocked an investigation into his own murder of the innocent man, then I sincerely hope he gets inoperable, extremely painful cancer that no amount of his free, socialist, taxpayer healthcare can cure.

Does that make me an asshole? I don't care. Rick Perry is a fucking piece of shit murderer.

He can go pray to Jesus for salvation. That's usually what murderers do just before they die, right?


TBF, the Frontline episode called "In the Line of Fire" tells all about this in detail. It has interviews of the investigators who were fired by Perry. It's on Netflix.

Anyone want to start a pool together so we can buy our own island? That's what we'll need to do if Perry is elected.

One more reason Perry is a world class A-hole- there are fires all over the central TX region this weekend (he lives in that area) and he has not issued a statement or seemed the least bit concerned. As Governor of the state, one would hope he would be able to pull his head out of his ass and stop campaigning for two seconds to say something on the subject. Douche.

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September 7, 2011

The Brain Frees
Hey Governor Perry - In all your hypocritical complaining about the useless federal government not rushing to help you with the fires - are you still happy that YOU cut Texas' fire department budget by SEVENTY-FUCKING-FIVE PERCENT? You fucking dingleberry.

I hate him with the passion of a thousand burning suns. That fucker hightailed it to California today to participate in the debate. There have been 180 fires in TX in the past week. Way to show support, you stupid douchefuck! Gee, how do I really feel? I guess I'm a bit tense...
Mary said douchefuck ;)

[Mary likes that Shirley used douchefuck because Mary, I’m pretty sure, owns the copyright on the word. Also, Shirley is usually very calm and level-headed. I’m the one who generally starts repeating curses uncontrollably.]

It feels oddly liberating... Douchefuck, douchefuck, douchefuck. That's right, Rick Perry... I'm talking to you, you big ol' coyote shooting, woman-hating douchefuck!
And yet I haven't heard anything about Bachmann saying it's all a sign/message from god.

The Brain Frees
I like when he did that McCain thing where he went back to TX for a day and gathered media around him to proclaim that he's putting politics aside for now - the fires are more important to deal with. 1.) How exactly is Mr. Perry personally going to deal with the fires? 2.) When McCain pretended to put politics aside and rush to DC to deal with the economic crisis, he was specifically doing it to make it look like he cared more about the people - but really just attempting to get more votes - like Perry did now. There was nothing he could have done about the economy. And Perry is not going to suit up, grab his halligan and leap into a fire. His ruse is not so clever.

Also, one of the Generals in the "Keep the Federal Government Out of State Business" war is now complaining about the federal government staying out of state business? Oh, right, I forgot it doesn't apply when Republicans ask for government help.

Also, why doesn't he pray for God to end the fires like he prayed for God to fix the economy - unless this is the beginning of God's plan to rid the USA of hypocrites using his name for purposes diametrically opposed to his teachings. You know, like blatantly protecting corporate profits (by cutting the fire budget by 75% and turning right the fuck around to give that money to corporations in the form of more tax breaks) at the expense of the workers?

And while I'm on a roll...
While Perry is deriding the Fed for not rushing to use all of it's (only despised when Democrats want it) socialist FEMA aid to help TX battle the thousands and thousands and thousands of fires, he neglects to mention one liiiiitttttle thing: he only applied for 25 (twenty-five) fire management grants through FEMA - and received ALL of them.

Favorite hypocritical Perry quote so far: “When you have people hurting, when lives are in danger, I don’t care who owns the asset.” I think he meant, "When Republicans are in charge, you should do everything to help them stay in charge, but when Democrats are in charge, you should do everything possible to make it look like they are doing a horrible job - even at the cost of economic stability, skyrocketing unemployment and America's World ranking - so stupid people who don't see that Republicans are blatantly putting party before country will vote for a Republican next time."

I love this short, to the point article. Especially it's closing...

In case anyone was curious, the US has just dropped to #5 in the World Ranking of competitive economies.

1. Switzerland
2. Singapore
3. Sweden
4. Finland
5. USA
6. Germany
7. Netherlands
8. Denmark
9. Japan
10. Britain

Think I might open me a Swiss bank acct.

Oh, and Perry is a douchefuck.

TBF, he did have a day of prayer for rain. Didn't work so well... God must know he is a douchefuck.

The Brain Frees
I love that shit. Our ex-governor held a group prayer meeting for rain a few years ago. It rained 5 months later and the prayer was deemed successful. Give Governor Douchefuck time. It may have worked. But, like I said, we still don't know if god started these fires on purpose. You know, like he wiped out New Orleans and Fukushima to get rid of heathens.

Good point. Austin is just brimming with heathens.

The Brain Frees

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¡Vete a la Chingada, los Republicanos! #23 in a series: The return of Rick Perry: "Just because you have a group of scientists that have stood up and said 'here is the fact' - Galileo got out-voted for a spell. -Texas Governor Rick Perry about the science behind climate change.

So, this stupid motherfucker's argument against science and facts is that 400 years ago, the stupid motherfucking Pope threatened Galileo with torture and death if he didn't stop saying the Earth revolved around the Sun? So, what, is Rick Perry comparing himself and all science-deniers to Galileo - the scientist? Rick Perry doesn't seem to realize he is the ignorant Pope in this scenario. This nimrod is claiming scientific facts are wrong? Political posturing based on protecting oil and gas profits is the real truth above climate science facts? What the fuck? I'm beginning to think Rick Perry is one stupid motherfucker.

He is a fan of killing things, so I guess I understand why this stupid motherfucking torture and death-based argument is appealing to him. Being the stupid motherfucker that he is.

And - is any politician from Texas capable of forming a complete sentence or do they all fart in their empty heads which abruptly changes their path mid-sentence? The only difference between the stupid motherfucker Bush and the stupid motherfucker Perry is that when Bush was being cocksure when he was wrong, he smirked and hunched his shoulders and gave that little condescending giggle - when Perry is being cocksure when he's wrong, he rocks up and down in his cowboy boots and continues...talking...real...s...l...o...w. Ly.

You hush your mouth. Rick Perry is a saint!

Uh oh,'re in T-R-O-U-B-L-E! LOL :p

The Brain Frees
Rick Perry: Science-denying scientist.

Rick Perry is a genius! He cut funding to the fire service by a H-U-G-E amount during one of the worst droughts in TX history. His intellect is staggering.

The Brain Frees
And by using the federal stimulus money, he created jobs without using the federal stimulus money!

Now you have just gone too far!!!!

And he is a crack shot when it comes to slaying coyotes while jogging.

Nice one Shirley!!

I've lived in TX for the past 8 years with this clown as governor. I'm not exactly a fan.

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