Monday, November 11, 2013

Cruise Control

Sorry, I know I’m supposed to be posting the sequel to 15 Differences, but shit keeps coming up. Don’t worry, it’s worth the wait. Trust me.

In the meantime, Tom Cruise is in the news. Here are my – uh…




Tom Cruise is a nipple.

Having said that, all the reports about him claiming that acting is as difficult as serving in the military in Afghanistan are STRAIGHT UP FUCKING LIES.

But hey, leave it to the media to NOT actually look into what they are reporting. And leave it to the populace to not look into what the media is “reporting.” We should know better by now.

The comments are from a deposition in Cruise’s libel suit against Bauer Publishing. And taken COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTEXT. Well, the comments that he actually said, that is. Most of it, Cruise never said.

The Bauer Publishing attorney said Cruise broke his promise to attend his daughter's first day of school. Cruise's attorney said in response, "But the truth, as you know, is that Mr. Cruise is a devoted father, who simply happens to be working in London on film. By your reasoning, any actor who is shooting on location in a foreign country could be charged with child abandonment, as could all of the mothers and fathers serving overseas in the military."

The Bauer Publishing attorney invented the “Afghanistan comparison” angle for slimy lawyer, obfuscation purposes when questioning Cruise: "Now your counsel has publicly equated your absence from Suri for these extended periods of time as being analogous to someone fighting in Afghanistan. Are you aware of that?"

Cruise replied, "I didn't hear the Afghanistan. That's what it feels like and certainly on this last movie it was brutal. It was brutal," when referring to his lengthy time away from his daughter, Suri.

Slimy lawyer, "Do you believe that the situations are the same?"

Cruise, "Oh come on, you know, we're making a movie."

To CNN, Cruise's lawyer, Bert Fields said, "Headlines stating he equated his job with those in the military are demonstrably false. They are a distortion of what is provable and on the record. Tom is a staunch supporter of our troops and does not feel that making a movie is even remotely comparable to fighting in Afghanistan and said so in plain English."

So, once more, I did the littlest bit of research and found this wide-spread and clearly untrue story to be, um, untrue. Tom Cruise never compared himself to soldiers fighting in Afghanistan. The opposition lawyer claimed lied that that’s what he said. Cruise’s lawyer simply stated that actors working away from their children is just as much a reason for “child abandonment” charges as soldiers being away from their children: a fucking stupid reason. Stop jumping on shit that you think backs up your pre-conceived prejudices. Like I said, Tom Cruise is a nipple - but seriously, no amount of auditing his thetans in the MEST universe would cause his reactive mind to influence the engrams of his analytical mind so far away from his Clear State that he would believe acting is the same thing as being a soldier fighting in a war.

For fuck's sake, people.

For fuck’s sake.

Good day.

P.S. – I understand that any perceived slight against the troops is met with automatic and unconditional outrage. But seriously, if we really supported the troops, we wouldn’t let soldiers be sent to fight and die for chickenhawk politicians’ personal desires and profits. And if chickenhawk politicians really, truly supported the troops, they wouldn’t oppose every single fucking jobs bill, housing bill, food bill and health bill proposed specifically for the soldiers after they’re done fighting their wars for them. Yes, I’m referring to pseudo-patriotic, chickenhawk, cowardly Republican politicians who have deferred military service and filibustered EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THOSE BILLS in the past FIVE YEARS that Democrats have proposed (And even blocked some of their own proposals after Obama agrees with them - but it doesn't have anything to do with racism, so just get that thought out of your head.) Republicans support sending people to die for them, but call them lazy moochers when they return maimed.

Some specific veteran-related bills that Republicans have blocked - but not because Obama is black:

H.R. 466 - Wounded Veteran Job Security Act
H.R. 1168 - Veterans Retraining Act
H.R. 1171 - Homeless Veterans Reintegration Program Reauthorization
H.R. 1172 - Requiring List on VA Website of Organizations Providing Scholarships for Veterans
H.R. 1293 - Disabled Veterans Home Improvement and Structural Alteration Grant Increase Act of 2009
H.R. 1803 - Veterans Business Center Act
H.R. 1879 - National Guard Employment Protection Act

Those are just a few of the military-themed bills that Democrats have passed in the Senate but blocked by Republicans in the House. There are almost 400 other non-military related bills obstructed by the GOP.

Useless GOP cunts.

For fuck’s sake.

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The very last time the U.S. military was sent to war to fight to protect our freedom was in December of 1941. Let’s honor the troops by not sending them to war for no reason. And if we must, let’s honor them by taking care of them when they return home. Car magnets and Facebook post “likes” just don’t cut it.

Happy Veteran’s Day, troops. And thank you.

The Bit-52's The World's Greatest Robot Parts Band playing The B-52's - Rock Lobster

 (At 1:10, that’s Three Stooges Beer in the background. They put the yeast in!)

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