Thursday, March 1, 2012

Good 'n' Plenty

Just a few more incidentals running around in my head.


Quick survey for all the ladies out there: 

1. Does it bother you that Republicans think you're too stupid to know how to make your own health care decisions and that your decisions need to be legislated by non-medically professional men?
2. Does it bother you that Republicans think you serve no other purpose than to shut up, stay home, cook, clean and make babies, you silly, feather-brained, 1950’s women?

Have my brandy and slippers ready when I get home tonight. And make sure the kids are quiet. I’ve had a long, difficult day. You wouldn’t understand. And dinner better be ready at 6:30 sharp. And if you’ve done everything to my satisfaction, I’ll give you a little spending money and you may leave the house tomorrow and treat yourself to a nice dress or something. I know how you love your little clothes shopping adventures, dear.

* * * *

This occurred to me:

Republicans and FOX "News" insist that because Reverend Wright said "God damn America," and Barack Obama went to his church for 20 years, obviously that means Obama also thinks "God damn America." Why else would he go to that church if he didn't believe the same thing?

By this rule that Republicans and FOX "News" invented, that would also mean that Catholics all sexually molest young boys. Obviously it's true, since hundreds and hundreds of Catholic Priests all over the world have been caught doing it. Why else would Catholics go to church if they didn't believe the same thing?

That's the problem with the faulty logic of "guilt by association." It can be applied to anything at any time.

And obviously, I must love Star Wars Episodes 1, 2 & 3 because I love episodes 4, 5 & 6.

And "guilt by association" is shredded.

* * * *

God has personally told every single one of the Republican candidates to run for President except Mitt Romney. That god has a twisted fuck sense of humor.

* * * *

And this sign inspired this thought:
Annoy a Conservative: Without personal gain, help someone other than yourself.

* * * *

Please stop quoting the Bible for the reasons we should and should not do things. No matter what quote you repeat, I can find at least twelve other contradictory quotes. At the very least, I can find 100 things in there that you choose to ignore that you don’t like – you fucking self-righteous hypocrite.

* * * *

"Six months before this thing got going, every Republican I know was saying, 'We're gonna win, we're gonna beat Obama.' Now, even those who've endorsed Romney say, 'My god, what a fucking mess.'" - Ed Rollins, former Reagan campaign manager in New York Magazine

* * * *

Vomit-prone Rick Santorum said that he got lower grades at Penn State because the liberal professors didn’t like his conservative-valued reports. “I can tell you professor after professor who docked my grades because of the viewpoints I expressed and the papers that I wrote. There’s no question that happened – I used to go to war with some of my professors, you know, who just thought I was just out of the pale and, you know, these ideas are just not proper ideas. And got docked in communicating them.”

Docked his grades? How does that work? Your answers were correct, Ricky, but your conservative values offend my liberal beliefs, so I’m going to dock your grade two levels from A to B+.

Bob O’Connor, a political science professor who taught four of Santorum’s classes said, “He really has a rich fantasy life… I resent this sort of accusation [that] I and my colleagues graded students on the basis of their political attitudes. Ridiculous.”

Former Republican Representative from Florida, Tom Feeney, a classmate of Santorum’s said, “He had Republican values, but it’s not like he was running around leading conservative jihads or anything.”

And as for his Über-Conservativeness, Rick Santorum said in Philadelphia Magazine in 1995, “I was basically pro-choice all my life, until I ran for Congress.”

The problem with making shit up when there are witnesses (and print and video) is that they will let everyone know you are making shit up. And I’m sure his lower grades had nothing to do with his lower intelligence. It was all a Liberal’s fault.

But what do you expect from a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter?

* * * *

For the 10 years in Pennsylvania between 2001 & 2011, there were nineteen (19) total votes regarding abortion. An average of less than 2 per year. In the ONE year since the Teabagger Republicans took control of the House, there were THIRTY-FUCKING-FOUR (34) votes on abortion. 34 in 1 year. Eat shit, Republicans. Or, rather, go teabag yourselves.

* * * *

Andrew Breitbart died early this morning.

* * * *

And Justin Bieber turned 18 today.

* * * *

See? Republicans are right. If we had just gotten rid of the EPA, then this report would never have come out and corporations would be able to continue poisoning us without hindrance to their profits.

Not that anyone is stopping them. The country is still run by corporations as opposed to the will of the people. It's just that their poisoning has officially been documented now. Fracking officially fracks our health and safety. Drill away, douchebags.

Drill away.

$ > :-[

* * * *

Mitt Romney is for against whatever you just said.

* * * *

Republicans describe Ronald Reagan in as much a mythical holy way as they do Barack Obama in a mythical evil way. By today’s standards, Republicans would actually consider Ronald Reagan a communist.

* * * *

Hey, Republicans. You know what is the opposite of 'conservatism?' Assaulting women's health care. Preventing Medicare for all. Preventing contraception. Banning gay marriage. Forcing your religion upon everyone. Rewriting American history to fit your wishes. Forcing the government between a woman and her doctor. Stripping union rights. Preventing people from their Constitutional right to vote. Calling education 'elitist.' Building walls between countries. Thinking science is stupid. Forcing Americans to carry 'proof of citizenship' papers. Cutting funding for the EPA, CDC and a slew of other agencies aimed at health, safety and welfare in order to give tax breaks to the wealthy for no reason. Gridlocking all legislation and manufacturing pointless fiscal emergencies.

No. Those things are not conservative. They have no relation to your alleged claims of doing everything in the name of 'freedom' in any way. In fact, they increase the size of government. Increase regulation. Increase spending. Increase borrowing. Increase the deficit. Increase debt. They create the very huge, expensive, overbearing, suppressive government that you purport to hate.

No. These things are not conservative. By definition, they are anti-American, anti-Constitutional. They are Fascist.

I’ve heard the theory that there are now two Conservative wings of the Republican Party. There’s the Fiscally Conservative wing, which is concerned with small government, less regulation and less spending. Then there’s the Socially Conservative wing, which is concerned with demanding that everyone live their personal lives according to a hugely false and misguided interpretation of the Bible. It’s a fair theory except for one thing – the Fiscally Conservative wing isn’t the slightest bit fiscally conservative. Almost every legislative proposal they come up with will end up immediately, or in the long run, costing vast amounts of unnecessary spending. So, what we really have, is a (pseudo) Fiscally Conservative wing, which is concerned only with saving money for the rich, but drive up the cost of everything for rest of the 99% of the country. Then there’s the Socially Conservative wing, which are religious zealots demanding nothing good for modern 21st century needs and values. And the (pseudo) Fiscally Conservative wing gloms onto the rhetoric of the Socially Conservative wing just to use the brainwashing aspect of religion to control the mindless, obedient hordes. It’s a mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship – for a really small group of Americans.

All in all, you are nothing but a loud, bullying minority that proclaims one of the many magical sky fairies is on your side so your way is the right way. And that the rich minority needs to be wealthy so the rest can get a trickle of your scraps. Which has NEVER happened. You deem everyone to be too stupid to know what is right for them, so you attempt to force your own personal beliefs upon the masses - even though your own personal beliefs concern only 1% of the country or they are over 2,000 years old and haven't progressed a bit since then.

I have news. The world has grown over the past two millennia. It no longer believes in your archaic notions of civilization. You willingly live in the ignorant, dust covered past.

Yet, this ignorance somehow gives you a righteous arrogance.

You are wrong.

The 99% are right.

Go fuck yourself.

* * * *

Good day.

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