Thursday, June 21, 2012

Friggin' Rainbows and Unicorns

I bet you were just wondering what was pissing me off today, weren’t you?


OK, Churchies. If you want to go into schools and preach creationism, then teachers can go into churches and teach science, math and history and you lose your tax exemption. What? The idea of education in a church offends you? The idea of paying taxes because you don't want to be separate from government also offends you? Only you should be able to do what you want, but nobody else should? Hm. That's... What's the word I'm looking for? Mean? No. Unfair? No. Hypocritical? No. Oppressive totalitarian regime? No, no. That's not it, either. Oh, yeah. Here it is: Go fuck yourself. That's it. Go fuck yourself.

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Republican problem solving technique: Put an end to the things you don't like.

Don't like the effects of climate change? Just ban people from saying 'climate change.' Problem solved.

Your attacks on women's vaginas making you uncomfortable? Just ban people from saying 'vagina.' Problem solved.

Don't like the homosexual lifestyle? Just ban teachers from teaching about 'homosexuals.' Problem solved.

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Are you as curious as I am as to how President Obama is going to take away all our guns by using the George W. Bush administration's "Fast And Furious" policy to apprehend Mexican drug kingpins? It couldn't possibly be a completely manufactured issue by FOX "News" and right-wing conspiracy bloggers, could it?

Stephen Colbert gives the short explanation:

Rachel Maddow gives the detailed explanation:

I've previously debated the “Obama is taking our guns by doing nothing” conspiracy in my “Guns: FACT.” blogpost.

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So, a few years after Wall Street and the banks fucked the American economy, we now have LESS regulation in place to prevent Wall Street and the banks from fucking the American economy again. Nice, ay? As a result, J.P. Morgan Chase gambled and lost what was originally thought to be two billion dollars but turned out later to be an estimated seven fucking BILLION dollars. Jamie Dimon, the CEO, explains, "The portfolio has proven to be riskier, more volatile and less effective an economic hedge than we thought." Which means Chase gambled a fuckton of our money and lost it because there's nothing in the way of any sort of regulation that says they can't. Dimon was called to testify before the Senate Banking Committee. Here are some of the grueling, hardball questions the Senators demanded that Dimon answer:

Senator Bob Corker, Republican, Tennessee: "You're obviously renowned, rightfully so, I think, as being one of the most, you know, one of the best CEO's in the country." [Apart from the seven billion dollar loss.] "We're here quizzing you, um, if you were sitting on this side of the dais, um, what would you do to make our system safer than it is?" [You don't have to tell me now. You can fuck my wife first - you know, if you want to. Whatever you want.]

Senator Jim DeMint, Republican, South Carolina: " You've got very big profits." [Apart from that minor seven billion dollar accounting hiccup.] "We can hardly sit in judgment of, um, your losing two billion - we lose twice that every day, here in Washington." [Senator Dingleberrychewer seems to think spending money on things such as roads, fire fighters, clean air and schools is the same as fucking gambling with my money and fucking losing it. Fuckhead.] "I would like to come away from the hearing today with some ideas on, um, what you think we, we need to do." [When you're fucking me, would you like to pull my hair or perhaps slap my ass, too, Mr. Dimon?]

Senator Mike Johanns, Republican, Nebraska: "You've got a lot of firepower and you're, you're just huge." [Get a room.]

Senator Mike Crapo (real name), Republican, Idaho: "What should the function of the regulators be? ...What other areas of oversight would be the most effective for us?" [After you lobbied us hard to loosen even more regulations after the financial collapse, which we then did, which enabled you to lose the seven billion more, how do you think we could work your knob even more pleasurably? Pinky in the butt? More testicle play? What is it you wish?]

After this unbearable inquisition by the Republican Senators, they still weren't done with Jamie Dimon. No. They needed to force him to know just how bad and hopelessly useless the government is - far worse than the banks...

Senator Bob Corker, "Has Dodd-Frank more than marginally made our banking system safer?" [Dodd-Frank is the bill designed to supposedly regulate against Wall Street and the banks’ continued gambling and created a consumer protection bureau that the Republicans all but eviscerated.]

Jamie Dimon, not understanding he was supposed to say ‘no,’ " We supported some elements -"

Senator Corker, trying to lead Dimon to the 'correct' answer, cut him off, "I know, I know what you supported. Has it made our financial system safer? ...I'm talking about the regulatory regime that congress put in place - has, has it made our system safer?"

Jamie Dimon, lost as to the meaning of the questioning, since he knows they should be angry with him but clearly they are not, "I don't know."

Senator Corker, frustrated with trying to lead Dimon to the answer he wants, is now going to virtually tell him, "Okay. One of your peers, not quite well known as you but very close, believes not."

Ah, Senator Corker is correct, though. The Dodd-Frank bill actually is not as effective as it should have been. Yes due to Republican filibustering. Especially by guess who. Yup. Senator Bob Corker. See, he voted against provisions in Dodd-Frank like banning naked credit default swaps, making banks smaller so they're not "too big to fail," which we’ll have to bail out again in the next collapse, and he voted against the Glass-Steagall Act, which specifically keeps banks from gambling with depositors' money. Then he opposed the bill entirely.

So, let me sum up what this Republican Senator basically said: After I made this bill ineffectual, I will now complain it is ineffectual. 

Then the Republicans all got together and asked the banks how they wish to be regulated since they don't think they fucked the economy and middle class and poor enough yet.

But that’s the usual Republican mentality. They fuck shit up then blame Democrats. Then do it again. And again. And again.

Not that Democrats are blameless. I really wish they would grow a pair of balls at some point and not roll over at every fucking available opportunity. Goddammit.

And why did all the Senators on the Banking Committee bend over and ask Jamie Dimon where and how he wants to put it, you wonder? No, you don't wonder. You know that the biggest campaign donor to most of them is J.P. Morgan Chase.

But no, this example of big money buying favorable legislation which fucks the middle class isn't YET ANOTHER reason for the birth of the Occupy Movement. Those lazy potheads just want free hand-outs. It's not at all about the rich helping the rich get richer at the expense of everyone else.

And the rich couldn't possibly be in control of an ungodly amount of more wealth than we can even believe. Well, except they fucking are:

See that top bar? That’s what Americans THINK is the wealth distribution. And we’re really pissed off at this. Look at the bottom bar. That’s the ACTUAL wealth distribution. We’re around 30% MORE FUCKED BY THE WEALTHY than we even imagine. That’s fucked. We should be 30% MORE pissed off. Look at that bar again. Absorb its implications. That's seriously fucking fucked up. Hell, I'd be happy if we were actually where we THINK we are instead of what we want according to the middle bar. Fuck.

And it’s not about working harder or being lazy. It’s about the rich keeping more of the money for no reason other than keeping more of it and taking more from the middle class for no other reason than taking more of it. They certainly haven't created any jobs that they claim their precious tax cuts would create. If they did, we would NEED to import undocumented workers to fill all the overflowing jobs in America. Don’t believe me? Let your noodle ponder on this chart for a while:

What policies were put in place after WWII? And whose ‘nomics replaced them in the early 80’s? Hmmm. I can’t remember. It's almost like I have Alzheimer's.

Do please try to have a good day.

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