Monday, September 24, 2012

Brain Farts

These bits just kept popping out of my brain all week. So I did what I do and wrote them down.

For the 100th time.


I before E except after C. Weird Science.

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Racism is ignorant and unfair. You should hate individuals, not groups.

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"Interesting story. At a high school in Texas, a science experiment backfired and the school was evacuated. Yeah. The experiment that backfired was: trying to teach science in Texas." 
                                                                                                            - Conan O'Brien

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So, the Founding Fathers were all about God and Christian values, ay? Do me a favor and count up all the times God is mentioned in the Constitution and get back to me with the total, OK?

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Conservatives keep saying it's not about Obama's "color," it's about his Marxist/socialist/communist policies. This proves it is about his color for them. Why? Two reasons: 1) Marxism, socialism and communism are all different ideologies and 2) Obama hasn't implemented any policies that could fall into any of those categories. So, we're left with racists trying to find other reasons to hate the black man. Or, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's because Conservatives don't know what Marxism, socialism and communism are, which means they're just fucking idiots. So, I stand corrected. They're either racists or fucking idiots.

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Was at a Conservative Facebook page. The host proudly proclaimed he blocked over 1000 "libtard trolls" from his page because "libtard" trolls aren't interested in having a conversation. Yup. Think about that. What level of cognitive dissonance do you have to possess in order to prevent others from conversing because you aren't interested in their side of the conversation - then blame them for not wanting to have a conversation because they don't blindly agree with you? Would you have to have the cognitive dissonance level of a "conservatard" Facebook page host?

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Well, one day of bigots standing in line for hours to feed themselves fast food in a spectacular show of being against civil rights sure turned out to be FABULOUS!

Chick-fil-A is no longer funding anti-gay organizations. CEO, Dan Cathy made this deal with Alderman Joe Moreno to get him to stop publicly opposing CFA building new restaurants in Chicago. Of course, scumbag bigot Dan Cathy lied. A few days after the deal, the chicken-fucker Tweeted this picture:

It’s a fundraiser being held by Winshape, CFA’s fundraising arm, for the anti-gay group, Marriage and Family Foundation. People were asked to write checks directly to the M & F Foundation so Chick-fil-A wouldn’t seem connected to what they said they would no longer be connected to.

Hey, Dan Cathy, you Bible-thumping piece of shit: what was that little thing about bearing false witness, again? Or, do you only thump the parts of they Bible that are convenient for you?

Fuck off.

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When Romney admonishes 47% of the country for feeding off the government's tit, does he include himself? Does he think he is a victim, too? Because Bain Capital operates by borrowing taxpayer money to invest in corporations without personal risk. Fucking bilge rat. And does he also include Exxon, GE, AT&T and all the other million and billion-dollar corporations getting free government money? Fucking moochers.

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Republicans blocked the Veterans Jobs Corps Act. They always vote to send soldiers to war. Then they prevent taking care of soldiers when they return. How very fucking patriotic of you. In your latest blatant attempt to fuck Obama out of any accomplishments, you are only fucking soldiers. Fuck you, you fucking scumbags.

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"In Tampa, the Republican argument against the president's reelection was actually pretty simple — pretty snappy. It went something like this: We left him a total mess. He hasn't cleaned it up fast enough. So fire him and put us back in." –Bill Clinton

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Hey, all you fucking numbnuts out there huffing and puffing about that 14 year-old video of Obama talking about redistribution of money (aside from your standard constant huffing and puffing about redistribution of money): All taxes are redistribution of money. America works on redistribution of money. Stop paying taxes if you hate redistribution of money. You know what else is redistribution? Student loans. Home mortgages. Car loans. Social Security. Medicare. You know what’s paid for with redistribution? Roads, libraries, schools, police, firefighting, the military, 911 services, paved sidewalks, air traffic safety – I can literally go on with hundreds upon hundreds of examples for which redistribution pays and EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY BENEFITS FROM – ESPECIALLY MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATIONS THAT DON’T NEED IT. They get the MOST redistributed money out of all categories. But if you’re already dead set against redistribution, you’re too fucking brain dead to understand. So fuck off, uneducated troglodytes.

Oh, and if you’re interested, the 14 year-old ‘Obama redistribution’ video FOX “News” keeps trotting out? Yeah, it’s edited, cut off after he says “got a shot.” After that he goes into detail about what he means. But then, they wouldn’t be FOX “News” if it wasn’t edited, now would they? HERE  is the full video.

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The Daily Show: Chaos on Bullshit Mountain. 
Just fucking watch it.

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Did you count up all the times God and Christianity are mentioned in the Constitution, yet? No? That’s okay, I’ll wait.

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For all you climate change deniers:

Science called. It thinks you're stupid.


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Why are the people who smugly say, “You really need to get your facts straight,” always the ones who really need to get their facts straight?

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Regarding the civil rights issue of our time: Hey, John McCain, ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was repealed a year ago. Where’s that apocalypse you knew for a fact was coming?

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On Wednesday, Mittington R. Moneyfucker spoke in Miami at a meet-the-presidential-candidate forum, which was held by the Spanish-speaking channel, Univision.

Not one to miss out on a chance to pander the living fuck out of any given situation, he dressed in this Hispanic costume:

In a room full of Latinos, he did his bronzer best to be just like them. If this was John Boehner, it wouldn’t garner a second glance, as this is how J-Bone always looks. But Romney? This is the absolute first time in his life he sprayed himself pumpkin fucking orange.

“Apparently, he just entered the spray tan booth and cranked it up to ‘Montalban.” 
                                                                                                       – Stephen Colbert

Seriously, can you all just accept the fact that this sociopath is nothing more than a bad joke? Taking into account how consistently horrible he’s handled every single step of his campaign - from his European Insult-All-Our-Allies Tour, to continually speaking before having all the facts (and always turning out wrong), to never having a conviction on anything, to blatantly, constantly and inartfully lying about everything, to not releasing his tax returns for months for no apparent reason—irrevocably damaging his campaign needlessly, to making random $10,000 bets like all common folk, to he and his wife referring to most of Americans (the 99% ‘not rich’ ones) as “you people" or “those people,” to being the stiffest, most unrelatable-to-humans candidate ever (I was born. I like trees. I like cars. I like lakes. I like grits. My gratifications are analogous to yours.), to telling a room full of millionaires that the poor half of the country sucks and he doesn’t care about them - obviously he’s not a very good manager. A good manager would not be so fucking clownish in every pander he makes. It seems all you need to make millions is to be born wealthy, be sent to the best, most expensive schools by that family wealth, handed a job through connections made because of that family wealth – a job where you borrow taxpayer money to buy businesses then just sit back and drain it dry. No management skills necessary.

I’m surprised he didn’t do his best Al Jolson when he spoke in front of the NAACP.

And I sincerely hope he doesn’t speak in front of any Japanese audiences. His 60-year-old view of America would have him wearing round black glasses and big buck teeth and replacing his “l’s” with “r’s.”

Fucking sociopathic idiot.

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Aaaand senior citizens boo Paul Ryan. Because they, too, know he’s lying. Because pathological liars do that. Lie.

When  everyone is booing, that's not a mixed reaction. Liar. Lying to an audience about what they, themselves are currently doing. Genius.

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Their opinions are VERY important to me.

Well, no more than a regular Joe’s opinion, anyway.

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"If this is a guy who fundamentally is out for himself and not altruistic and out for other people, how could he be the President of the United States? How?" - Howard Stern on Mitt Romney

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 Just fucking read it.

Rolling Stone:
By Matt Taibbi

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Romney released one more year of tax returns (for a grand total of two) and 20 more years in summary. 

For the year he released, he had his accountants retroactively NOT deduct for a donation in order to raise his tax rate back above 13%, which he vowed he would never pay less than.

However, after the election, he can retroactive-retroactively RE-DEDUCT for that donation.

Also, the tax return mentioned entities based in the Cayman Islands 28 times, but Romney says those Cayman Island investments have nothing to do with avoiding taxes.


No, Mittens, we’re not as fucking stupid as you think we are.

You sociopathic slug.

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And to the people who claim that the only reason people DID vote for Obama was because he’s black and didn’t want to appear racist: Might you be projecting the only reason you DIDN’T vote for him onto people who otherwise used their brains to make an informed decision between McCain’s and Obama’s platforms, ideals and personalities?

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Fine. I’ll fucking tell you. Never. That’s how many times the Constitution talks about God and Christian values. Fucking NEVER.

However, many of the Founding Fathers - deists that they were - DID often talk about how man-made organized religions, Christianity in particular, are total bullshit.

Now, go drink some more tea, little paste-eating child.

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And finally, because I don’t want you to be depressed for the rest of the day due to the stupid and greedy people who own this planet, please watch this adorable girl, Clara Bergs, perform the CoppĂ©lia ballet. Clara is 10 years old, has both autism and DiGeorge syndrome, and memorized the ballet on her own.

Good day.

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