Penis-Brain vs. Vagina-Brain

I fully understand that women defending women isn’t a situation into which a male should insert himself. And no matter what, I look like a dick here.

That was my mistake: forgetting the “vast difference in perspective.”

When people blindly, militantly and uncompromisingly draw a line in the sand, there is no use in debating. It’s like when saying we should have background checks to prevent convicted criminals from obtaining guns and the gun nuts insist you just want to take their guns. It’s irrational. And untrue. And useless to continue talking. 

I agreed with the sentiments of this person’s blog post. It is thoughtful. I just also happened to think it was kind of extreme in saying that if a boy continues knocking over a girl’s wooden block castle and no parent ever stops him, he will become a rapist. Of course, that translated into me not understanding rape culture in America. Because I have a penis.

Enjoy…

Anne 
This is a thoughtful read. [And you have to read this post to fully understand the subsequent conversation. So, please do. No worries, it’s short.] 

The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys'

Bill Mancuso 
I do understand and appreciate the message - as extreme and over-the-top as it was. According to this, I and every male I know should have turned out to be a rapist. 

Anne 
Oh c'mon. You know that's not what the writer was saying. [Yes, you’re right, I do.] But it's a good lesson for us all to not bully other people and to recognize / think about how this stuff is ingrained since we're wee ones. 

Bill Mancuso 
I get that. I just thought it was a bit extreme. 

Christine 
I'd guess the message sounds less extreme to people who've been told their whole lives not to get raped. 

Anne 
Exactly, Christine! That's a perfect way to frame it. 

Christine 
Thanks, Anne. I hope it doesn't sound argumentative; it's just hard not to notice the vast difference in perspective. 

Bill Mancuso 
I guess being told all three-year-old boys will become rapists because of something they all do doesn't sound extreme to people who aren't accused of inevitably becoming a rapist. I hope I don't sound argumentative; it's just hard not to notice the vast difference in an imaginary perspective forced upon three-year-old non-existent future rapists and their non-existent future victims.

And to insinuate that I am unable to see the perspective of those with a vagina because I have a penis insults my integrity as an empathetic human being. You don't know me. You don't know what I've fought for. You haven't read what I've written on the subject of rape and women's rights. Don't try to passive-aggressively bully me.

And like I said twice already, I understand the message. Shall I repeat again that I understand the message so you understand that I understand the message? The completely separate issue, however, is that the writer's fictitious story, for a fact, is over-the-top extreme. 

As for the general message of learning not to bully other people, and thinking about what's ingrained in our little heads - I'm pretty sure I'm familiar with it. 

The Brain Frees: Bullying 

Christine 
Wow - so glad you're not being argumentative. No one is bullying you, passive-aggressively or otherwise. [I was totally being argumentative. I was aggressively confronting the fact that she was passive-aggressively trying to put down my opinion while directing her comments to someone else that were really meant for me while stating she was not being argumentative. I guess my sarcasm didn’t come across.] 

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“I'd guess the message sounds less extreme to people who've been told their whole lives not to get raped.”

That’s arguing that one extreme is acceptable over another. No. Women saying 'all men are rapists' is just as nonsensical as men stating 'it’s a female’s job to not get raped.' 

And no. I never replied for the very reason I posited at the beginning of this post: A line in the sand was drawn and all rational debate would have been useless. My brain is attached to a penis, so it could allegedly never understand how a vagina’s brain thinks.

Also, I’m sure Christine didn’t read my Bullying post. Anne probably did, though.

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Well, maybe not completely different…