Trayvon Martin Found Guilty!

Sanford, FL, Saturday, July 13 – Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justice. Justice was served today as a guilty verdict was reached in the Trayvon Martin murder case. After a long period of ignoring this case until community activists shamed the justice system into action with an unrelenting publicity campaign, the Trayvon Martin case was brought to trial.

Five white women and one woman of color sat in judgment of a black teenager. The six jurors were culled from a town made up of predominantly conservative white gun-lovers. Normally, a trial consists of twelve jurors, but this is Florida and a diverse group of jurors would result in a much greater chance of a fair assessment of the circumstances.

Disregarding a 911 dispatcher’s suggestion to stay in his vehicle and wait for police officers to arrive, George Zimmerman was the victim of a surprise attack after he stalked a teenager walking home from a convenience store.

“He came out of nowhere,” Zimmerman explained. “After I told the 911 operator that these a-holes always get away with it, I got out of my vehicle and went after the coo- uh, kid, while he was talking on a cell phone. That was my first clue that he didn’t belong here. I mean, he was black, right? In broad daylight, even. That’s when I knew.”

Soft-spoken Zimmerman was not part of the Neighborhood Watch program, but liked to cruise the neighborhood alone with his gun while pretending to be. According to the official Neighborhood Watch program guidelines, citizen patrols must work in teams, wear identifying clothing, never carry any weapons and never challenge anyone; call the authorities. But Zimmerman knew he had to act. “No, I didn’t announce I was part of the Neighborhood Watch. There was no time. Lives were at stake. If I didn’t stand my ground and chase after him, who knows what would have happened? Who knows what he would have done with that candy and iced tea once he got to what I later learned was his father’s place? I didn’t know at the time because I just thought he didn’t belong in that neighborhood. He didn’t look like he did. Anyone would have thought that.”

That’s when Trayvon Martin made his move. “After I approached the kid wearing the suspicious hoodie – you know, like the kind everybody wears, like when it’s raining – I demanded to know what the hell a black kid was doing walking on a sidewalk,” Zimmerman explained, “that’s when he told me to mind my own f-ing business. Like I’m just going to let some f-ing punk walk down a sidewalk! Near houses, even! And talk on some, what, Obama-phone or whatever? I didn’t know who he was! And I had a gun! I was safe.”

At this point, the victim began to fear for his life. “He came out of nowhere. He had me pinned to the ground. I couldn’t move my arms. Then he started slamming my head into the sidewalk. The very sidewalk he was just walking on! I mean, can you believe it?” Zimmerman continued, “I was lost. I was simply looking for a street sign, then this f-ing… this maniac was on top of me. I was afraid. Really afraid. He was much stronger than me. My head hurt. I lost – was losing consciousness and couldn’t think. I was helpless.”

Zimmerman had no idea what was about to happen next. “I was laying right on top of my gun, which was tucked behind me in my waistband. I couldn’t reach it. There was no way. I mean, it was under me and I was on my back and my arms were pinned. How could I get to it? I couldn’t. It was completely blocked and hidden from sight. I feared for my life.” That’s when the crazed, pot-addicted black thug saw his chance. “That’s when the kid sees my gun. He says to me he’s going to kill me with it. My own gun! He says he will be the last thing I see on Earth before he sends me to an everlasting Cracker-Hell that only Crackers go to. So I shot him. I had to. It was either me or him. And I was standing my ground after I got out of my truck and went after him as he was walking home from 7-11 with candy and tea. But not like standing my ground in like the Stand Your Ground law, because I never heard of that law in all the police courses I keep taking and failing. Even though they teach that law. It is Florida, you know. We have the right to stand our ground. There’s punks out there. They always get away. Not this time.”

Asked what he would do next now that Martin's guilty verdict came in, Zimmerman had this to say, "What can I do? I guess after the police give me back the gun I defended myself with, I'll go back out on patrol. Someone has to keep the neighborhood safe. I don't see anyone else doing it." However, the Trayvon Martin incident has changed George Zimmerman. "But my life's going to be different, now. People recognize me. They recognize me as the guy who protected that neighborhood. My life is going to be a whole lot tougher, now. At least, at least I lived to tell my story, though. I don't want anyone else to go through the ordeal that I had to endure. That's why I'll continue to protect the neighborhoods from the people who live in them. It's a burden I have to live with."

Following several weeks of grueling testimony by a parade of witnesses who didn’t witness anything and experts who made stuff up as they went along, the Trayvon Martin murder trial has come to its inevitable conclusion. In a country where you can murder your wife if you suspect her of cheating on you, where you can murder your baby if it prevents you from going nightclubbing, where you can murder a woman if she refuses to have sex with you – why would you think a trial about stalking and murdering an unarmed teenager walking home from a convenience store would result in any different outcome? Especially if that teenager is black.

*****

After the verdict came in, George Zimmerman’s brother, Robert, obviously detached from reality, became worried. “There are factions, there are groups, there are people that would want to take the law into their own hands as they perceive it, or be vigilantes in some sense," he said to CNN’s Piers Morgan. "They think that justice was not served, they won't respect the verdict no matter how it was reached and they will always present a threat to George and his family.” Just so it's clear, that one is a real quote.

Guns don’t kill people, but they sure do make it incredibly easy.

‘Merica.

*****

Good day.