Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Genesis 2

This blog may make it seem as though my entire internet presence is that of confrontation. It is not. It’s just what this blog is about.

Here is a light-hearted pseudo-confrontational discussion I had with Peter where we really agree on the topic.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.


Oh yeah, this is bound to bother a few die-hards...

Researchers have found links to one ancient man and one ancient woman who could be the father and mother of most modern humans. But "Adam and Eve," as these two ancient people are being called, likely never met, let alone mated and populated the earth.
Bill Mancuso
No. BLASPHEMY! God made 1 man, Adam. He pulled out Adam's rib [Not to be confused with Adam's Ribs] and made it into a woman, Eve. Then, Adam made sweet, sweet love to a woman who is made of his own body. Then, they had kids. Then, Adam and Eve made sweet, sweet love to their kids, who also made sweet, sweet love to each other. Now, 6 or maybe 8 or maybe 10 thousand years later, 7 billion people. You can't deny the facts in the Bible because the proof is that the Bible says it. 

HERESY! You cannot suggest that they made sweet, sweet love! That is just wrong! He "knew" her. He "laid down" with her. But nowhere in the good book are the words "they made sweet sweet love"... tsk tsk tsk... for shame! 

Oh, wait... nevermind. You must be referring to the Lost Book of Mancuso. Chapter 1, verses 6-10. 

Bill Mancuso 
Are you saying he did it out of some sort of obligation to the Lord just to populate the earth?

Waitaminit... If they were the first two people, that means there was no one to perform the marriage ceremony, or even a religion to base it upon. They weren't married when they made sweet, sweet love! Adam & Eve ruined the sanctity of marriage! 

No... They were married by the burning bush! Didn't you read the book??? God appeared to them and performed the ceremony... and there was much rejoicing. The lion laid down with the lamb that day... and it was GOOD 

Bill Mancuso 
I thought Satan deceived Adam & Eve into marrying by saying he was a messenger of God?

Oh, no, wait... God married them through the very creation of Eve. Since she was OF Adam, that was their unification.

Hold on, what about Lilith? Did Adam ever divorce her before marrying Eve or should he have been arrested for polygamy? Who would arrest Adam? There were no police yet. Or, wait, was polygamy OK back then? I forget.

Nevertheless, it's all fact because it proves it in the Bible, and you can't dispute facts. 

Adam never married Lilith... she is truly the Divine Feminine... she could not be controlled. ;) 

Bill Mancuso 
Oh, right. Lilith was made out of the same dust that God made Adam from, so they were equals. (the medieval Alphabet of ben Sira) Eve was made of Adam's rib, so she was subservient. (Genesis 2: 7, 22)

And it says so in the Bible, so you can't refute those proven facts. 
Well, the part about Eve, anyway. Lilith isn't really in there. The interpreters changed her into either a night demon or a screech owl, depending on which version of the indisputably factual Bible you have. (Isaiah 34: 14) 

[Isaiah 34:14...

King James Version (CE 1611): 
The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island, 
and the satyr shall cry to his fellow; 
the screech owl also shall rest there, 
and find for herself a place of rest.

New King James Version® (© 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.):  
The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the jackals, 
And the wild goat shall bleat to its companion; 
Also the night creature shall rest there, 
And find for herself a place of rest.

New International Version® (© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.):  
Desert creatures will meet with hyenas, 
and wild goats will bleat to each other; 
there the night creatures will also lie down 
and find for themselves places of rest.

New American Standard Bible® (© 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.): 
The desert creatures will meet with the wolves, 
the hairy goat will also cry to its kind; 
Yes, the night monster will settle there 
and will find herself a resting place.

In a version even earlier than the King James Version, the second and third lines of Isaiah 34:14 read as, "Goat demons shall greet each other; there too the lilith will repose."

And let's not forget these versions: The English Revised Version (© 1885), American Standard Version (© 1901), Revised Standard Version (© 1946-1952/1971), the Amplified Bible (© 1965), Recovery Version (© 1999), English Standard Version (© 2001, 2011), World English Bible (no copyright) based on the American Standard Version... uh, there are no less than 46 versions in English. I will not begin to delve into other languages.

Of course, all versions of the Bible are indisputable. It says so in each version.]

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I know too much about the Bible. But there’s a reason. Hopefully, some day you’ll find out.
(Oooh – cryptic!)

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Well, maybe not completely different…

The Brick Testament 
(Click the → arrow.)

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