Saturday, October 22, 2016

The Third Presidential Debate 2016

Alright, I tried to watch this the day after it aired so I could pause and do commentary for a blog post. It took two days because I could not eye & earball the whole thing in one sitting.

It's lengthy. Get out your favorite liquor.

Enjoy. I hope.

Off the bat, Trump answered Wallace's first question like he was supposed to give an oral book report but didn't read the book.

Chris Wallace: "Mr. Trump, where do you want to see the [Supreme] Court take the country and how do you believe the Constitution should be interpreted?"

Trump: "The Supreme Court. It's what it's all about. Our country is so, so, it's just so imperative that we have the right justices. Something happened recently where Justice Ginsberg made some very very inappropriate statements toward me and toward a tremendous number of people, many many millions of people that I represent and she was forced to apologize and apologize she did but these were statements that should never ever have been made."

Chris Wallace: Take your seat, Donny. The book wasn't about you. You get an incomplete for the assignment. This is not the first time you haven't done your homework. I'm sending a note home for your parents.

Asked about the Second Amendment, Trump waffled on and on about how upset Hillary was over the Heller decision because he watched her. Obviously having enough of Trump repeating over and over how upset Hillary was, Wallace cut Trump off and asked Hillary if she was upset.

She says she was. About 33,000 deaths due to guns. Wallace asks Trump about his support for all guns all the time. Trump brings up Chicago again. And says ‘tremendous’ again.

And sniffs again.

Wallace hits them with abortion.

Trump says some dumb shit about individual states making their own decision after Roe v Wade is overturned. Wallace repeats his question: You want the court to protect the 2nd Amendment, but not protect Roe v Wade? Trump tosses a delicious word salad. Makes me think of back alley coat hanger abortions like the good ol’ days he wants to take America back to. Hillary strongly supports Roe v Wade and women’s right to proper health care. Split screen: Trump is making sour pussy faces. Probably thinking of banging his daughter.

Hey, Wallace - there’s no such thing as a “partial-birth abortion.”

Hillary kicks ass on the abortion question.

Trump says some dumb shit about ‘ripping babies out of mothers in the ninth month on the final day.’ He’s a vile creature. Hillary eviscerates his crap. Trump cuts off Wallace’s next question to repeat his dumb shit. Trump’s a repeater. A tremendous repeater. Pads his answers. Totally fools everyone into thinking he presented something of substance. I know I’m fooled.


Trump mentions women in the audience he brought to use as props. Their children were killed by “illegals” or something. Trump repeats the lie that ICE supports him. Their statement the last time Trump said this was: “Per the Hatch Act, federal agencies are prohibited from engaging in partisan political activity including the endorsement of any candidate for office,” said ICE spokeswoman Sarah Rodriguez. “U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has not and will not endorse any candidate for office.” Trump says all of the problems many of the problems all of the problems the single biggest problem in New Hampshire caused by Barack and Hillary is heroin that pours in is pouring in just pours in from our southern border. Trump gives a tremendous post nasal coke sniff.

Hillary gives a well thought out, coherent, boring answer about how stupid Trump’s idea of fascist stormtroopers going door-to-door, school-to-school and rounding up all the undocumented immigrants would mean a massive increase in government in the form of police. For some reason she doesn’t mention how many trillions it would add to the deficit, though.

Wallace attempts to go to the next question. Trump interrupts him to say his meeting with the Mexican President was lovely. Reality differs. There’s a Twitter trail to prove it. Trump brings up his sweet trade deal with Mexico and whines about Clinton’s husband’s NAFTA trade deal that was a disaster (you know, the deal that GHW Bush made and wasn’t exactly a disaster). I don’t know what any of this has to do with immigration. Trump says Hillary wanted a wall in 2006 but she didn’t exercise her dictatorial powers when in the senate, so she failed to get it done. (I don’t think Trump has any idea how government works.) Repeats that Hillary Clinton wanted the wall. Wallace has enough. He cuts off Trump’s infantile outburst of an interruption. Trump continues to talk over Wallace and cries about “but she said.” Wallace finally says, “Eat shit, Drumpf. I’m in charge and I say Hillary’s turn to speak. I’d like to hear from an adult now, even if I don’t like her. Christ almighty.”

Hillary says, “I voted for border security - “ At which point, Trump, as we’re now well used to, leans in to his mic and says, “And a wall,” like the fucking tantrum-throwing four-year-old he is. Hillary continues her answer while Trump makes faces.

Trump says Obama has deported millions (several times) and that “nobody knows about it nobody talks about it” (Maybe not on the right wing, but the left wing and the independents have been bitching about it for eight years.) Trump punctuates his repetitive statement with “big league” so everybody knows how important this issue is. Says some more words and adds “big league” again. (I think people were mistaking this for him saying “bigly.”) Trump says Hillary wants open borders. He repeats that Obama has deported millions and millions. He is now being repetitive within his repetitive statements. He’s meta repetitive.

Wallace tries to continue. Hillary interrupts Wallace to say she does not want open borders. Trump interrupts Hillary interrupting Wallace.

Wallace brings up Wikileaks. He quotes Hillary; “My dream is a hemispheric common market with open trade and open borders.” Trump, like an ever-distinguished, mature four-year-old, leans into his mic again, “Thank you.” Both Wallace and Hillary laugh at the child. Wallace asks Hillary, “Is that your dream, open borders?” Hillary: “Well, if you went on to read the rest of the sentence [you fuckfaced FOX “News” fop], I was talking about energy.” Trump again makes faces. I don’t think they’re human faces, though. More insect-looking than anything else.

Hillary is upset that people can read her emails because Russia gave them to Julian Assange, the guy who tries to date eight-year-olds. Dares Trump to disavow his pal, Putin. Trump responds by being surprised Hillary pivoted off of ‘open borders’ (after clearly answering that question). “How did we get on to Putin,” asks the guy who pivots away from of every question he’s asked.

Wallace tells the crowd to shut the fuck up or he’s turning this debate around.

Trump cuts in again and repeats that Hillary wants open borders. He’s really trying to fear monger the crowd into believing they’re all going to die at the hands of a Syrian immigrant. Because he’s got nothing but hate and fear to sell. Says Hillary wants open borders again. Adds the phrase “radical Islamic terrorism.” Claims neither Hillary nor Obama will even mention the words. He’a been patient, but he finally managed to do it. He repeats that Hillary wants open borders. Says “I don’t know Putin. He says nice things about me. If we got along well, that would be good.” Says Putin has no respect for Hillary or Obama. Keeps alternating his “pointy” and “pinchy” fingers. Shows authority among four-year-olds, I guess. Hillary says Putin likes Trump and says the reason he doesn’t like her and Obama because he’d rather have a puppet. Trump yells into the mic, “You’re a puppet! No, you’re the puppet!” Aren’t kids adorable?

Trump again denies the 17 intelligence agencies who say Russia hacked US Government computers. Because he’s a tumbleweed-topped twatwaffle who thinks he knows more than everybody. Just the kind of guy you want to be in charge of 330 million people. And nuclear arms.

I can’t put into words just how fucking “childish tantrumy” Trump is acting at this point.

Wallace tries to tell Trump we’ve heard this already but Trump doesn’t stop his tantrum.

We’re only half through this thing, people.

After a nanny comes out and gives Trump a Spongebob Squarepants-themed pacifier to suck on, he calms down enough to allow Wallace to ask Trump about his “rigged election” claims and whether Trump will concede the election if he loses. Trump goes off for a couple minutes about how the media is biased, millions of voters are fake and that the biggest example of a rigged election is that Hillary shouldn’t be allowed to run for President because she is guilty of so many things so many things. She’s guilty of so many things. Emails. She shouldn’t be allowed to run.

Wallace re-asks Trump his question about conceding the election if he loses and if he’ll adhere to the historic honor of our nation. Trump says again that he doesn’t give a shit about democracy or the Constitution; he only cares about himself and the free publicity this campaign has given him. Actually, he says he’ll keep us in suspense.

Hillary bitch-slaps Trump by giving mucho examples of how Trump always claims things are rigged when he loses.

Trump says, I know you are, but what am I?


Hillary says she will not put an occupying force in Iraq. But basically supports our military operation. Syria. Russia. Negotiations. Yadda yadda.

Trump blames Hillary for something. Doesn’t understand military operations. Whines about the element of surprise. Obama made mistakes so many mistakes. Repeats things a lot. Rambles on about I don’t know what. Says Iran should thank us for nuclear weapons.

Hillary says Trump again is claiming he didn’t support the war in Iraq when the recorded records that everyone can see at any time because they are recorded, clearly prove otherwise. Trump leans in to his mic and with his face sphincter says, “Wrong. Wrong.” Because he is mature. Believe me. Okay? The best mature you will ever see. Nobody maturer. Trump then leans into the mic and again says, “Wrong.” Hillary elaborates on the intricacies of the Middle East; points out her involvement in taking down bin Laden at the time Trump was busy fake-firing people from his reality TV show. More Middle East information. Over Hillary talking, Trump starts yelling into his mic about Iran and Iraq and how we don’t gain anything.

Hillary calls Trump unfit. Trump says, “No no YOU are the one that’s unfit!”

Trump brings up other people saying bad things about Hillary and that they were right. Again, the maturest. He repeats the thing about the element of surprise. Says Bernie Sanders says Hillary has bad judgment and he agrees with him. Smugly satisfied with his answer, he stops making sounds. Hillary says Trump should ask Bernie who he supports and is campaigning across America for. She points out that Bernie said Trump is the most dangerous person to run for President in the modern history of the United States of America and that she thinks Bernie is right. Hillary tries to drop the mic, but it’s attached to the podium. Wallace can’t help laughing.

Wallace brings up Aleppo. Says Trump was wrong in his claim that it has fallen. Trump interrupts Wallace’s question with a mini outburst: “It’s a catastrophe. I mean, it’s a mess. Have you seen it have you seen it?! Have you seen what’s happened to Aleppo?” Wallace: “Sir, if I might finish my question.” Trump: “Okay, so it hasn’t fallen. Take a look at it.” The maturest.

The thought bubble over Hillary reads as follows: {YASSSSS, MOTHERFUCKERS!}

Wallace continues: “There are a quarter of a million people still living there and being slaughtered.” Trump interrupts: “That’s right. And they are being slaughtered. Because of bad decisions!” He points at Hillary. I’ve seen grade school debates more professional than this. And those involved juice boxes during break time.

Wallace says Trump was also wrong in his claim that Syria and Russia were fighting ISIS in Aleppo. Syria and Russia were actually bombing Aleppo, which they have admitted to by pausing the bombing to let humanitarian aid get to the people. Wallace asks Trump to clear up his false statements. Trump takes this opportunity to prove he has no fucking idea what he’s talking about. The first thing he does is yet again repeat, “Aleppo is a disaster.” It HAS fallen. Do you need signed documents? I know what I’m talking about! I’m right! I’m right! I’m right!

Again Trump blames Hillary for Bush’s illegal invasion, overthrowing and occupation of Iraq. Talks about how tough dictator Assad is. Then literally says, “And now she’s gonna say he loves Assad.” Seriously. Oh, fuck what a whiny insecure little bitch baby Trump is. He starts blathering on about - something. Billions given to Iran. Russia and Syria. Hillary’s fault. Obama’s fault. Immigrants. Wallace tries to stop Trump’s incoherent tirade. Trump starts yelling. “AND NOW WE HAVE THEM IN OUR COUNTRY WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS IS GOING TO BE THE GREAT TROJAN HORSE AND WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE COMING YEARS!!! LOTSA LUCK, HILLARY! THANKS A LOT FOR DOING A GREAT JOB!”

Nothing like a good fear mongering as a debate tactic.

Hillary’s smile is so big, the top of her head almost splits off at the jaw. Yasssss, motherfuckers.

Hillary responds well to Wallace’s question about the concerns with imposing a no-fly zone. She pivots back to Trump’s immigrant fear mongering. Points out that the murderer who shot up the Pulse night club in Orlando, killing 49 and wounding 53 more, was born in Queens, NY, where Trump is from. So fuck off with blaming immigrants, you orange ball of sewage. She pivots back to ISIS.

Wallace tries to ask another question but Trump will not let go of repeating that Hillary created ISIS. He interrupts Wallace by blabbering on about how Russia so outplays America on everything. He ends by saying, “Nobody can believe how stupid our leadership is.” America sucks, believe him. He will make it great again. A fascist dictator’s dream. What a fucking child. (Sorry, children.)

National debt.

Wallace frames the question by misrepresenting the facts to make Hillary’s economic plan seem almost as bad as Trump’s plan.

Trump says economists are wrong because he’s “gonna create tremendous jobs.”

Sorry, Trump, the GDP can’t be “less than zero” as what you claim Hillary’s plan will do. Stop proving you are not good at math. All your bankruptcies are evidence enough. (Unless you were making some obscure reference to the 1987 film starring Andrew McCarthy, Jami Gertz and Robert Downey, Jr that I didn’t understand. Then, I apologize for making fun of you. No, I don’t. You’re a piece of shit.)

Trump says “tremendous” a few more times.

Trump repeats “political hacks” a few times.

Trump clearly has no economic plan.

Hillary reminisces about how Trump has been criticizing the US government for decades and the $100,000 ad he placed in the NY Times in 1987 (how fiscally responsible) during the Reagan administration to say that same thing that he is still saying now, that America is the laughing stock of the world and only he can fix it. (Hey, another 1987 reference.) Hillary then pivots back to Wallace’s question, calling bullshit on the way he phrased it, then explains how she would pay for her programs. She wants to tax the wealthy more and invest in the middle class. She makes a good case with the details. We’ll see. As she’s talking about investing in the middle class, Trump interrupts, “We’ve heard this before, Hillary. We’ve heard this before.” Because Trump never repeats himself and has no time for people who do. When Hillary finishes talking, Trump dismisses her with a pretentious, “Thank you, Hillary.”


Trump, unable to handle any criticism due to the fact that his skin is so thin it’s translucent, interrupts Wallace to respond to Hillary’s comment about the $100,000 ad. “I did disagree with Ronald Reagan very strongly on trade. I disagreed with him. We should have been much tougher on trade even then. I’ve been waiting for years. Nobody does it right. And, frankly, now we’re gonna do it right.” Thanks, Trump, for clarifying your idiocy. You’re the best.

Entitlements. Saving Medicare and Social Security.

Trump will cut taxes. Says it will grow the economy. He says it will grow at a record rate. (Never mind it never has in the history of the USA. I can’t speak for other nations, but I assume the same.) Wallace basically says what the fuck are you talking about, that won’t do shit about entitlements. Trump responds adamantly: “It’s gonna totally help you.” I don’t think Wallace needs the help. “One thing we do, repeal and replace the disaster known as Obamacare. It’s destroying out country.” What? “It’s destroying our businesses. Our small businesses and our big businesses.” What about the medium businesses? “We have to repeal and replace Obamacare,” he repeats. He says “repeal and replace” a couple more times. Then spews right-wing misinformation about Obamacare.

Hillary says she will raise taxes on the wealthy, not cut but enhance benefits for low income workers, among other logical items. She quips her social security payroll taxes will go up “as will Donald’s, assuming he can’t figure how to get out of it.” Trump leans his face sphincter into the mic and with his tiny hand pointing straight up in the air, utters what becomes a rallying cry for women across the nation: “Such a nasty woman.” Because no one treats women with respect more than Trump. He’s the best. Okay?

Hillary points out the fact that Trump is completely full of shit about Obamacare. Trump, in such a tremendously respectfully way, leans his face sphincter into his mic and smarmily blurts: “Your husband disagrees with you.” The best. Believe me.

Closing statements. One minute each.

Hillary speaks like an adult, giving reasons as to why she hopes you will vote for her. I hope she means what she says.

Trump immediately launches into an attack on Hillary. He talks about how much America sucks. Military spending sucks. Our cops get no respect. Inner cities suck. Hillary sucks. He will be the best with the blacks and Latinos. Make America great again. We can’t have four more years of Obama and that’s what we’ll get if you vote for HER. He points his tiny finger at Hillary. What a fucking bitch-baby he is.

Chris Wallace can’t believe he just heard a grown man running for President of the United States of America just say the most petulant bullshit he’s ever heard in front of an entire nation, and the world.

*****     *****     *****

I’m not going to read through this to proofread and correct any typos and clarify any cloudy thoughts. I can’t. Trump is too goddamned stupid. I just can't go through this again.

On a positive note, I will say I don’t think Trump had as much cocaine beforehand this time.


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