Saturday, December 17, 2011

Our Kenyan-Born President

“Donny the Clown” Trump was recently spouting again that Obama wasn’t born in America. I guess he wanted to stir up some more extreme right-wing stupidity before his awesome classy debate that everybody would certainly fight to be in since he’s the most important person in the world – well, at least in his dead-squirrel-covered mind. What? It was cancelled due to complete lack of interest by everyone except the second biggest ego in the world, Newt Gingrich? And the most pathetic sack of shit, Rick Santorum?

Don’t Google ‘Santorum.’

I’m inspired to post this Facebook rant from February.


Originally posted 2/15/11

I wrote this one a while ago and was just waiting for a reason to post it. I’m pretty sure Never-Will-Be-President Mike Huckabee saying yesterday in a radio interview that President Obama grew up in Kenya is that reason. That, and the moronic Republicans in Georgia just joined the moronic Republicans in Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Nebraska, Indiana, Oklahoma, Connecticut and Maine in trying to pass a 'birther bill.'

I’ve been mulling this over for a while now, and I think I’ve figured out how it is possible that Barack Obama was able to become President of the United States of America even though he was born in Kenya…

For that conspiracy to have been pulled off, these few very simple and entirely plausible things needed to occur: The entire government of Kenya had to be complicit, the entire U.S. government under G.W. Bush/Dick Cheney including the Republican, Democratic and Independent parties needed to be complicit, the U.S. Justice system from the Supreme Court including all lawyers all the way down to file clerks needed to be complicit, the entire state government of Hawaii needed to be complicit, the hospital in Hawaii that claimed he was born there including a substantial amount of doctors, nurses and staff had to be complicit and had to forge legal documentation, at least one of Barack Obama’s family members needed to be clairvoyant (or a palmist ), and finally, a DeLorean equipped with an operational flux capacitor  would have been needed in order to go back and force the hospital to place a false announcement of his birth in these Hawaiian newspapers from Honolulu, “The Sunday Advertiser” and  “Star-Bulletin” in 1961 – which would indicate that the Hawaiian hospital staff of the altered history of 1961 would also have to be complicit in the conspiracy.

And no one, not one, single person in this whole conspiracy could have talked about it. Ever. Never spoken one word about both the conspiracy and the existence of time travel.

Unless there really is a neuralyzer. 


He was actually born in Hawaii as both his official Hawaiian long-form and official Hawaiian short-form birth certificates prove but you think he wasn’t simply based on the fact that you’re an ignorant racist.

Either way, John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936(!) and the issue of whether he was actually eligible to run for President of the United States of America has not been settled either. Seriously. Look it up.

And for the provable record, Obama was born and lived in Hawaii until the age of five. From ages five to ten he lived in Indonesia (That’s not Kenya - in case you don’t know geography - and he still wasn’t born there even if you do think Indonesia is Kenya.). Then back to Hawaii at ten. Then college in California. Then New York and Illinois. And Washington, D.C. The very first time he visited Kenya was in 1987. He was what, 25, 26 years old?

Oh, and Hawaii is a state. We have 50 of them in the U.S. of A. Much to the chagrin of the Confederacy.

The Sunday Advertiser 1961

The Star Bulletin 1961

Good day.

chagrin (shä grin’) n. [Fr.] embarrassment due to disappointment, failure, etc.

Seriously. Don’t Google ‘Santorum.’

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