Coup, Me?

Postponing my previously scheduled blog post to bring you this important news.

Fact: Republicans hate democracy.

You won’t, but try to enjoy…

On September 30^th, late at night just before Republicans shut down the government, without any debate or oversight, they snuck through a new House Resolution that ONLY Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (Teabagger, VA) can allow a vote on keeping the government open. Not even Speaker of the House, John Boehner can bring up a vote anymore.

In the past, any member, Republican or Democrat, could put a Senate Resolution to keep the government running to a vote. But, hating democracy since it interferes with their dictatorial desires, Republicans, once again removed democracy from the table – you know, because they love the Constitution so much. And, once again, knowing how fascist this move really is, they snuck it through quietly when no one was looking.

Not in the way that Republicans say Obama snuck through the health care bill – after 60 years of open debate, finally presenting a plan, putting it up for a vote in the House, getting a majority of House votes, putting it up for a vote in the Senate, getting a majority Senate votes, signing the bill into law, having the law argued before the Supreme Court, the Supreme Court upholding the law as Constitutional, the President running his re-election specifically on his health care bill and the majority of Americans re-electing him seemingly because they want health care. No, not that kind of secretly sneaking through a bill. But, I digress.

So, yes, Republicans removed democracy from the rules again and placed the functioning of the government solely in the hands of one man, Eric Cantor, Neo-Fascist Dictator of America. This was to ensure that the government would, in fact shut down the next day. As the Republicans planned.

Because America, freedom, liberty, Jesus.

Don’t tread on me as I trample all the fuck over you.

Republicans met the night Obama was inaugurated in 2009 and decided to obstruct everything he tried to do. Republicans have been doing it ever since. Republicans ran in the 2010 mid-term elections on creating jobs and shutting down the government. They have since obstructed every jobs bill and shut down the government.

And now, only, I repeat, only, I repeat, ONLY Eric Cantor may reopen the government after only, I repeat, only, I repeat, ONLY Eric Cantor ensured its closure. Just the way the Founding Fathers wanted America to function. That’s why they got together with Jesus and wrote the Constitution – To prevent a dark-skinned, ant-war socialist from providing health care to his constituents. (No, wait, that IS Jesus. I’m getting confused. What are Republicans patriotically fighting for, again? Let’s see: no taxes for the wealthy, give more government handouts to the wealthy, more taxes for the poor, no government handouts to the poor, women at home, no Mexicans, guns. I think I got it now.)

So, if anyone complains that Democrats, or Obama personally, shut down the government, you now have full, legal authority to call them a stupid fucking idiot and punch them in their stupid fucking idiotic throat. (If you do, you might want to run away after that because it’s not really legal. I was speaking metaphorically. Well, you can call them a stupid fucking idiot, just don’t punch them in the throat.)

Republicans may have lost the election (since their ideals are over 50 years out of date and the majority of Americans, ever increasing, live in the 21^st century now), but that doesn’t mean they can’t toss out democracy by changing rules to their favor and gerrymandering their districts to remain in control. It’s so fucking difficult not to compare them to a certain Party from another country in the middle of the last century during a war that encompassed the world for the second time, but I won’t. It’s so cliché. Regardless of its veracity.

Watch as Maryland Representative, Chris Van Hollen exposes this Republican coup.

The GOP's little rule change they hoped you wouldn't notice

I’m guessing the Republicans will concede to reopening the government maybe only after Barack Obama concedes to stop being black.

And based on the President’s usual manner of debate, he probably will.

But let's hope he has finally come to grips with reality.

Good day.

Hey Ya, Charlie Brown