Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Guns - Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

Showers don’t clean people.
Clothes don’t cover people.
Cars don’t transport people.
Houses don’t shelter people.
Chairs don’t seat people.
Forks don’t feed people.
And guns don’t kill people.

The gun control issue is a perennial topic. The left-wingers believe there should be some common sense limits. The right-wing’s extreme, ignorant, alarmist overreaction is always that ‘Librulz want to take away all law abiding citizens’ guns then only criminals will have them how are we supposed to stop a tyrannical government freedom liberty don’t tread on me!’

I won’t tread on you. You’re doing a fine enough job of it yourself.

Needless to say, I get into this fantastically stupid argument all the time.

This weekend, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker, Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend – the mother of his three-month-old daughter – then committed suicide.

This event, as well as the two presidential candidates never fucking even fake coughing the word ‘gun’ during the entire debate season (much like the climate change issue), has inspired me to post a series of my conversations on the issue. Several other gun-related musings have been posted in this blog already. And I’m positive there will be more in the future.


This is the basic type of conversation I normally have with an unconditional gun supporter:

Is now the time to talk of gun control? This guy sidestepped the law. He wasn’t allowed to purchase a gun from a dealer, but he bought the gun privately, which meant no background check needed. Now three people are dead, including his wife, and he wounded four more.

No? Ok.

This guy was a law-abiding citizen. How about now? Can we talk about gun contr- No? Ok.

Well, what about now? No? Ok.

How about n- No? Ok.

What abou- No? Ok.

How ab- No? Ok.

Can- No? Ok.

You see? This is why everyone in the world needs guns. What more proof do you need? No one will ever be safe if even one person doesn’t have guns. You can’t argue against that. You can’t. You just can’t!!! Librulz are just trying to take away my freedom. LIBRULZ HATE AMERICA AND WANT US TO DIE!

Um. What about all the other-

Shut up! Guns!


**    ****    **    ****    **    ****    **

Every time guns are used to kill, the specific purpose for which they are manufactured, guns have nothing to do with the killing. This is what we’re supposed to believe.

**    ****    **    ****    **    ****    **

And here’s what happens when people who love to stroke each other about guns have deluded conversations without opposition. I didn’t bother commenting. Some things are just too stupid in which to involve myself. Yeah, it’s my ex-buddy Richard again. Natch.

1. You can already open carry in Georgia. The law successfully panders, but changes nothing.
2. Now you don’t have to worry about being able to show off how cool you think you are in public. I’m sure your shirt will now “accidentally” ride up more often.
3. Yes. We have two different countries: The one that won the Civil War and the one that’s still fighting it/preparing for another.
4. Police can’t show their guns in public? You might want to tell them that.
5. Guns are just a simple piece of metal and plastic. What’s the big deal? I eat with metal or plastic utensils every day. Same thing. And they never kill me. Sporks don’t kill. People kill.
6. Which state assumes you are a criminal for stepping over an imaginary line on a map?
     A.) State lines don’t count?
     B.) You counter the normal Republican argument that unconditionally advocates for states’ rights.
     C.) Bullshit is difficult to keep track of. That’s why right-wingers often argue in circles.
7. I always feel safer when I see people I don’t know walking around with guns.
     A.) I have to assume they are mentally stable since they have a gun, right?
     B.) And it’s always refreshing to see that guy in the grocery store ignoring his 3-year-old daughter tugging on his tactical holster. (True story.)

8. In 11 years of policing, you’ve only taken guns off of people without permits?
     A.) Wow. Congratulations for doing your job correctly.
     B.) When they have a permit, you aren’t supposed to take their guns.
9. It’s scary to see people riding around with rifles in gun racks?
     A.) But you have a gun, too. What’s so scary?
     B.) They always say ‘sorry?’ Do you let them go or do you do your job?
     C.) They never immediately drop into racist, stereotypical black dialogue?
10. You firmly believe statistics show that more people walking around with guns makes life safer for everyone, but statistics don’t firmly believe your firm belief.
11. Yes, Conservative Governor Sunny Perdue is a jerk for vetoing a law that would allow people to carry guns in the Atlanta airport.
     A.) That’s the fault of Liberals, how?
     B.) Disagreeing with right-wing extremist ideology turns normal conservatives into fake conservatives?
     C.) We have to take our shoes off in case we’re concealing a bomb in them, but we should be able to casually carry guns onto planes?
12. As a guy living in NJ, do you always use unsubstantiated innuendo to make your case?
     A.) You insult New Jersey’s intelligence.
     B.) Don’t.
13. “But u could already open carry” – Uh, oh. A fact was introduced.
14. “Technically yes” = yes. Nice way to explain around it. Even though this fact completely nullifies this entire conversation thread.
15. “This won’t change getting hassled.” – Uh, oh. Logic. And a conversation killer among conservatives.

**    ****    **    ****    **    ****    **

According to the obese, drug-addicted shit-merchant – marriage and Jesus would have prevented Jovan Belcher from murder/suicide. And liberals caused it. 

**    ****    **    ****    **    ****    **

Here are a few of the previous gun-related posts for perusal at your leisure:

A Killer Waste of Breath

Good day.

O'Donnell rewrites right-wing backlash against Bob Costas
Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

NRA Slams Bob Costas - "Shooter's girlfriend should have had a gun"

Yes. Obviously, the solution to gun violence is 'more guns.' Seems logical.


No comments:

Post a Comment